It’s so much more complex than it was in your 20s!
BUT, you are wiser, and you are more tolerant. You know yourself so much better and experience has given you insight into your own needs and wants; consequently, you will make better choices henceforth.
Dating at this age and stage of life is good for your health and wellbeing: the benefits to your heart and brain are huge, new people inevitably bring new perspectives and experiences. Increased tolerance engenders increased respect for individuality – it’s finally okay to be you!
Be prepared for a more relaxed approach – not every new romance will be intense with passion and big gestures. With less of a rush, there will be more time to enjoy the process.
A note of caution: many budding over 50s relationships are killed off by expectations as to how romance should look. If the cherished memory of the endorphin rush you felt in your 20s is etched on your blueprint for love and that’s what you anticipate now, ***NEWSFLASH***you are placing unreasonable demands on your date and whether you are conscious of it or not, you are intimating that whatever they have to offer is not good enough.
Rather than condemn the relationship to failure, if you adopt a more open approach and give yourself permission to ‘go with the flow’, you will be able to fully enjoy what emerges.
You both arrive with a personal history at the starting point, which will have informed your current attitudes, values and behaviour and should be treated with respect and understanding, but not allowed to undermine this new opportunity for happiness. Discuss it without too many details (you are not trying to win a court case – the other person is already on your side).You are by this stage so interesting, with a lifetime of experience to draw upon you have plenty more topics for conversation!
If you are still bitter about the past, you would be well advised to deal with that before looking for new love – transferring negative feelings from the past will poison any chance you have of building something that will last.
Do allow yourself the chance of a new relationship – you deserve it in 2020.
Karen X
