Reading an article about manifestation recently, I asked myself if this might be a tool of use in the arsenal of those looking for love, or just magical thinking for the I-should-get-what-I-want-brigade. Can we wish love into our lives or is that a dangerous thing to attempt?
Be Careful What You Wish For
We are all free to want something more than we have, but there is a risk that the dreams are the wrong ones, in which case they are in fact obstacles to happiness. We need to be careful what we wish for and know what will serve us best.
The Perils of Staying with a Formula That Has Not Worked
When seeking love, the barriers we have are the self-limiting beliefs we cling to and the tendency to stay in tucked up inside our particular comfort zones, when the most interesting things in life happen outside.
If you are serious about finding love you’ll increase your likelihood of success if you step away from pre-defined ideas – after all, they have only failed you in the past. Rigidly sticking to the belief that there is a ‘type’ of person you are attracted to, based on your past experience, will just steer you straight back towards that failure, with which you are already all too familiar.
It’s understandable of course: most of us find the necessary vulnerability for relationships hard enough without being expected to engage in it on alien territory, but it is worth the effort.
Action
Examine your own relationship patterns thus far and be honest with yourself. It will help you to see where you can make changes in your outlook.
- Consider people you are attracted to currently. What is it that draws you to them?
- Look at the wider group of people you know. Are there people in this group who might possess the qualities that could suit you better, who you have dismissed because there was no instant attraction? (Instant attraction by the way, is lust brought on by the triggering of hormones as you recognise something similar from a past relationship.)
- Look at your close friends – are they all stunning, erudite, successful etc. or whatever you are looking for right now in a life partner? I very much doubt it. They will all have their quirks and yet they have qualities that mean you still enjoy their company.
Being more open to the possibilities of a wider range of people is the key to your happiness. If you discard your current criteria and try being more receptive to what others reveal to you, you will find a long lasting, loving relationship that is right for you. At this point you are ready to reframe your goals and back them with the intention to behave differently – it will be far more productive for you than just wishing.
